Welcome to another new page!
This is yet another new page for you to feast your eyes on! This page is finally complete! It is all about the predessesor to the current champ 'Ray Da Rasper'! This page gives you a brief look at Happy Al! |
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Dont worry! This pikkie is meant to be like this! Happy Al at his best!
This photo has been blurred so you can't see who it is! This is what Happy Al is capable of when he saves up his gas! this picture was taken 18 months ago, just before Ray Da Rasper came on the scene! Happy Al was still the champ! His fart caused this poor bloke to be left with a flattened face and perminant scaring, after Happy Al blasted one out after the chicken curry the night before!
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Happy Al was once the best!
Years ago, no one could rival the deadly Happy Al! His farts were just too scary, loud and smelly to be rivaled by any other living creature! He was the BOB of farting! Happy Al still lives in Da Port, but now plays second best to 'Ray Da rasper'. |
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How did Happy Al loose his title?
Happy Al lost his title around 18 months ago, when 'Ray Da Rasper' joined a certain Crazy Gang who work Down Da Wessie! Ray simply blasted poor old Happy Al away, beating him in all aspects, with smellier farts! He was also the first person ever to throw a fart and gain the longest fart record! Apart from 'Ray Da Rasper', happy Al remains un-challengable! |
How did Happy Al start farting?
It is inherited, believe it or not! Farting has come naturally to our Happy Al! All of his childhood friends believed he would be capable of a high seed in the farting table. So he went along and instantly became top for around 30 years! No one dared to challenge Happy Al! Not even today! |
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How good is Happy Al at the other end?
In fact, Happy Al is almost as good burping as he is farting! His burps are long and loud and incredibly smelly! Check out his burp-breath after a packet of cheese 'n' onion crisps, larger and a pizza! WOW! He burps loudly in front of customers at work too! |
The Big Match - Happy Al 'v' Ray Da rasper!
90 minutes of pure farting!!!!!!
FIRST HALF: Started off well for the veteran. A few of his obnoctuious gases caused Ray to choke and took him to a 1-0 lead within 7 minutes! Happy Al tried harder, and tried to cause ear damage with the sound, but Ray caught the sound and threw it back! The rest of the first half was a bit dull, but just beloned to good 'ol Happy Al!
HALF TIME: Happy Al 1-0 Ray Da Rasper
SECOND HALF: Started off all in Ray's way, a few near misses shocked Happy Al, but he hung on to his lead over the champ! When Ray though it was alll over, he threw a fart to pull level, 1-1! Things were hottening up now (not just in the audience - in the farters pants too!!). Happy Al almost took the lead again, when he rasped loud, but Ray threw it back with one of his own, to take a shock lead 1-2! Ray's wife then come in and distracted him. Happy Al was fighting back hard, but he just couldn't cope with Ray. Happy Al played well, but he just couldn't match ray!
FINAL SCORE: Happy Al 1-2 Ray Da Rasper
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Happy Al at home
Having to put up with him is a challenge and a half! Always farting, burping and picking his nose! He is still the ultimate couch potato! His seat smells like bad drains! The emmissions given off by this thing would be enough to have it taken away by the environmental health! Every time a decent programme comes on, his arse and mouth come alive! The living room has to be evacuated evry night! |
Fart-Damaged goods!
Everything happy Al has sat on, has been damaged by his deadly farting! This leapard skin motorised sofa was once pure white! Just take a look at it now! What a mess! This strange smelling patten was caused by just one loud rasp from Happy Al's buttocks! Ray Da Rasper can do worse damage so beware!! |
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Happy Al's farting records - Past & Present!
Here is just a small sample of the records Happy Al has produced and Still holds:
- Loudest Fart - 129Db
- Most active trouser cough - 4 inch move
- Smelliest sofa - reaks up to 12 foot
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Happy Al at work!
No one can cope with Happy Al's farting at work! The whole office has to be evacuated! His farts sounds like his arse is in water! Everyone blames happy Al for any passing of wind! Ray Da Rasper's incredible skill of throwing farts confuses everyone! |
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Happy Al's farting tips!
1) Always bend whilst farting to enhance the sound
2) Farting into seats does not make smells dispirse well.
3) Don't fart at Ray - He will 'throw' them back with one of his own!
4) Farting loud in public makes you popular
5) Beans, curry, cabbage and beef normally gives you a good jump start!
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Happy Al's farting buddies!
Well, there is only really one. And he is the one and only 'Ray Da Rasper'!! His mate Ebo isn't really that good at farting, so I wont include him. Um, give me time, I will think of some more! |
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SHOCKER!! - Happy Al is my Dad!
Yes, it is true! Unfortunately, Happy Al is my Dad! that is how I know sooooooo much about what his is like at his home! Will I turn out like him? Only time will tell! So far, I am taking the BOB side of life! |
Living with Happy Al!
Having to live with Happy Al is one of the most unpleasent experiences in the world. Not only does he fart and burp almost non-stop, he is also a dirty old git (a bit like me really!). He also takes a fancy to Cat Deeley and he likes the way she kisses him on my cool screensaver of her! |
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